Changing Attitudes:
Changing attitudes about sex and sexuality is a time consuming task. You have to treat yourself with kid gloves and gradually make minor changes over time. Only then with persistence & patience might you be able to integrate healthy attitudes towards things you once avoided or abhorred. It is up to you to decide what changes you need or want to make to have what is a healthy sexual attitude for you. Each person will adjust that to his or her particular needs. Some may need to integrate acceptance of nudity or homosexuality, and others will not wish to integrate those types of sexual attitudes into their lives. No matter what things you choose to integrate into your life, if you've educated yourself about them and want them in your life, only you can make the determination if those things are right for you. The first item in changing attitudes is to overcome thoughts or images of sexual positions or touching that physically make you feel ill. Many women are not able to conceive of touching or looking at the genitalia. For some that is the part to start with. Only you know how far you can push yourself. I recommend taking minor steps. For example, if you have preconceived notions that the genitalia are dirty. Start by taking time to wash yourself with first a cloth, then bare hands. Use the shower or bath as an opportunity to touch this area; feeling reassured that you are clean. (I recommend using mild soap or no soap in the vaginal area due to many women are prone to irritation.) Once you are able to accept that. Try touching after the shower, all the time reinforcing aloud that the genitalia are clean & for pleasure. If direct touching is still too much, touch only the thigh for a few days. Then slowly integrate into touching the vulva on the outside. And so forth. For those beyond that, use a mirror to get to know your body. Examine it, touch it, look at all the folds & openings. After that, use objects to insert to understand how the shape of your vaginal lays within you. If you are unable to have penetration, just put the object at the opening to the vagina & massage it around to get familiar with foreign touch.
Depending on what you want or need to integrate, move on from there. If you are hesitant for sexual intercourse, think of positive things that come from the union of two lovers. Affirm those things aloud. There is truth to hearing is believing. If you are considering anal penetration, there are books I have heard about and still need to read myself in proper ways to cleanse the anus and integrate from just touching to full penetration. There is much more to be said on all these topics. If you look within yourself, you'll see what it takes to change yourself to improve your sexual health. You can't change for others; the only changes that will take hold are those done for you. Thank you for visiting the Sexuality Tutor. Please come back often to review updates. Check out the answers to questions offered online. 
